Fantasy vs. Reality

Allow me to share my most frequent fantasy. Put aside the pity that it's not about living a glamorous life, not about sex, not even about travel. No, it's about my ideal home.

I picture a small perfect house. No clutter - nothing on the countertops, sparse shelves, organized drawers and closets. I have what I need, but no more. It's clean (so easy when there's no clutter!) and neat (a place for everything and everything in its place). As heretical as it seems for the daughter/granddaughter of art dealers, even the walls are clear. Maybe one painting, situated where I can sit and really appreciate it. One or two beautiful things on the shelves, things that I can appreciate because they're not competing for my attention with 20 other knick-knacks.

In my ideal house, there is seating for the number of people living in it, exactly the right number of plates, spoons, cups for our family to have one meal, a few days' worth of clothes (that all fit and are in good shape), only the books that we are in the middle of reading. We could pack up all of our personal stuff and fit it in the back of the car - furniture excepted. I would get rid of most of the furniture, too - when you don't have so much stuff, you don't need so much furniture to hold it. Goodbye bookshelves, storage cabinets, coffee tables, and dressers! Goodbye dusting and polishing them, too.

To some people, this sounds cold. To me, it sounds peaceful. Right now, though, it's a complete fantasy. Like pornography for the clutter-obsessed.

Right now, there are at least 10 books in the middle of being read in my kitchen alone. Also a baseball uniform belt, a car made of legos, a frisbee and a metal water bottle. There are games and puzzles scattered across the dining room table. Mementos from our travels dot the landscape of our living room (along with blankets from yesterday's movie date with the kids, cast-off shoes, and, oddly, a single Polly Pockets dress, slightly chewed). Let's not even enter the kids' rooms - at least without shoes on. Those legos are sharp! The bookshelves are overflowing and I'm scared to open the cabinets at the end of the hallway because avalanches have been known to happen there. There are dirty clothes hiding in places I haven't even thought to look.

I could probably get my fantasy house right now by yelling at my family about every discarded sock, nagging at my husband about making the bed, and following behind my children picking up every last thing. I do many of these things from time to time, much to my chagrin. It's not worth the trade-off, though. Because in the end, I know that I'll have my dream of peace one day - just not in the near future. Right now, I need to embrace the chaos that comes with having three young children, a dog, a busy life, and way too much of everything. I need to recognize that much of the clutter is a sign of an active, engaged, enthusiastic family - and that I'll miss those legos one day too soon.

Those cabinets at the end of the hallway, though -- they're about to meet their match!